Things I’m learning

These randomly came to me today so I thought I would put words to them and give them away…

The tighter you hold on to something, the more quickly you strangle it. The tighter you hold on to a relationship, a person, or an ideal the more quickly it causes your focus to narrow and the big picture disappears leaving you intensely putting unreasonable pressure on that relationship, person or ideal and it quickly dies at your hands. When we let go and let things be as they are and unfold naturally we see that everything happens in its own time and by accepting things as they are we take the pressure off of them to perform in our desired way and also lighten our stress load. We may think we know what’s best for someone else or what we think should happen but when we let go we allow ourselves to be captivated by the natural process of life. Its likely we will experience outcomes we could never have imagined. There is no way to force a a flower to bloom but when the conditions are right and its ready, it will bloom. The same for all of us.

 

Its worth sticking through the hard times. Life is not always beautiful and conflict-free especially in a long term relationship either with another person like in a marriage or a life-long relationship with our children. I also think this applies to every single aspect of life that matters deeply to us whether thats a passion, a career, personal development or a hobby. I think that if we are able to step back and remove ourselves and let go of our conditioned responses and impulses to run or hide when things get hard and we really see the big picture we will realize that what is happening in this moment in time is merely a blip and not the definition of ourselves or our relationship. When we can remember what really matters to us during a difficult time, which is bound to happen, we can begin to see our way out of the difficulty and move towards learning and growth. I’ve learned the most from the most painful times and I don’t enjoy being in pain but I enjoy the perspective I gain once I’m on the other side of it.

 

When we blame others or external circumstances for our upset we give our power away. Life is going to happen, the good and the bad, people are not going to act they way we think they should and if we let those things dictate our mindset or happiness we will always be controlled by things outside of us. I think this goes for positive aspects too. If we believe someone other than us, like a partner or child, or a material good is going to bring us happiness then again our happiness depends on something outside of us. By thinking “if my partner does all the things I want him or her to do then I will be happy” or “if my child acts the way I think he or she should I will be happy” then we are setting ourselves up to be deeply and forever let down. Our spouse and children are not responsible for our happiness, nor are we responsible for theirs, we are though, responsible for the content of our minds. We have the power to choose what thoughts we focus our attention on and which ones to let go. The mind is our most powerful tool and the beauty is we are the master of it but only by intentionally cultivating it. It doesn’t come automatically but by daily practice like a Jedi we can get out of our old thought patterns and begin to choose to be aware and intentional in our responses.